The secret to having good sex every single time revealed

Mindfulness can help you get better at sex. A recent study found that married couples who maintained self-awareness and non-judgmental attitudes during their last sexual encounter reported greater emotional satisfaction. 

While those whose partners were less attentive or mindful during the act were more inclined to cheat on their partners due to dissatisfaction, according to Archives of Sexual Behavior published by IOS Press (Ikeda et al., 2017), the researchers also discovered partner effects. 

When husbands were aware of what was going on sexually, their wives had improved orgasm consistency, but if they did not know, there wouldn’t be any improvement!

Read here as Beth Ellwood explains in more detail

Early evidence suggests men have higher sexual mindfulness than women, leading study authors Chelom E. Leavitt and her team to wonder whether women’s lower sexual mindfulness might explain why women tend to orgasm less consistently.

Leavitt and her colleagues were particularly interested in how one partner’s mindfulness during sex might influence their partner’s outcomes. The researchers conducted a study using data from a nationally representative sample of newlywed couples in the U.S. In total, there were 1,473 mixed-sex couples in the analysis. Wives were an average age of 29 and husbands were an average age of 31.

Both partners completed a measure of sexual mindfulness to assess awareness during sexual experiences (e.g., “I pay attention to my emotions during sex”) and non-judgment during sexual experiences (e.g., “During sex, I sometimes get distracted by evaluating myself or my partner”). They also completed measures of relationship flourishing to assess meaning, personal growth, and goal sharing within the relationship, and sexual harmony to assess the extent that their sexuality is integrated into their life in a balanced way. Finally, both partners indicated how often they experience orgasm during sexual experiences with their partner.

When the researchers analyzed the results, they found convincing evidence that mindfulness was related to improvements in sexual well-being. Among both wives and husbands, greater awareness and non-judgment during sexual activity was associated with greater relationship flourishing, sexual harmony, and orgasm consistency.

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Mindfulness is beneficial for people in different settings, including those looking to improve their sexual experience.

Studies show that long-term meditators can experience increased cortical gyrification (folding) within the brain’s insula—which isn’t very erotic but could get you to think otherwise! 

The first step you should take towards having better sex is by engaging daily with mindfulness practices; this gradually trains your mind while cutting down stress levels over time, so it becomes easier just being conscious during activities such as foreplay or intercourse

Read this quote from mindful blog

“When you hear the word mindfulness, you have to understand that it is presence of heart.” That’s what Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction founder, told a recent seminar for the Greater Good Science Center in Berkeley. As he pointed out, the Chinese character for “mindfulness” combines the ideograms for presence and heart.

That’s a good definition to keep in mind when it’s time to romp and roll—because surely that’s when we most want our hearts to be present.

This is a good place to talk about orgasms. Sometimes we get so busy pursuing them as a goal that we forget to notice what’s happening right now. The heart can’t be present because there are other organs driving the encounter. “Orgasm is a good thing, but there’s more to it than genital friction,” says Marsha Lucas, a neuropsychologist and author of the new book Rewire Your Brain for Love. “Orgasm can obscure everything else that is along the path. Mindfulness helps you see what else is there.”

For many people, mindfulness during sex comes naturally. But, alas, it’s also natural for our minds to wander or for anxiety to eat away at the edges of our awareness (and enjoyment). From playing pornographic films in our brains, evaluating our own sexual performance, worrying about the kids, or wondering what our butt looks like, there is ample opportunity to zone out.

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If you’re looking to up your game in the bedroom, it might be time to meditate. Mindfulness and meditation have been shown to improve sexual function and increase satisfaction for both partners.

So if you want better sex, don’t forget to clear your mind first. Try out some of these mindfulness exercises next time you feel frisky – you (and your partner) will be glad you did.